After so many networking sessions in different cities this year, we gathered our members for a focus session where something became obvious very quickly:

Everyone knows how to say hello in a networking session. What feels harder is what happens after.

Members spoke about attending events where they left with a handful of names but no real relationships. Others shared that even in virtual sessions, they remembered the speaker and maybe the host… but not the other faces in the grid. And yet, some did remember specific people from previous events, the ones who spoke up, asked questions, or helped someone in the chat.

This guide brings together those reflections and the practical suggestions from the session into six steps you can actually use in your next networking event to go beyond the hello!

Step 1: Be someone people can see and notice

One of the early questions in the session was: “Who do you remember from past events, and why?” The answers weren’t theoretical. People named each other: the person who turned on their camera, the one who asked a thoughtful question, the one who actively participated in the chat or breakout rooms.

The takeaway was simple: before you even think about “networking,” make it easy for people to notice you exist. In virtual spaces, that might mean switching your video on, using your real name, participating in the chat instead of staying in silent “cognitive mode.” In a physical room, it means making eye contact, being present in the moment, not hiding at the back.

You can’t build meaningful connections if you’re invisible in the spaces you attend.

Step 2: Use your elevator line as a hook, not a full biography

The session spent time on elevator speeches and not in the cheesy “sell yourself in 30 seconds” way. We looked at them as hooks, the way a good headline makes you want to read the rest of the article.

Instead of listing your job title and everything you’ve ever done, the suggestion was to say one clear, simple thing that sparks curiosity. Something that makes the other person think, “Tell me more.” It could be a surprising angle (“I help shy people speak with confidence”), a specific problem you solve, or a line that connects what you do to an outcome people care about.

The goal isn’t to compress your entire CV. It’s to open a door for the next question.

Step 3: Give people your full attention and avoid the “wandering eye”

Who is the kind of networker everyone secretly dislikes? - the one who is talking to you, but scanning the room for someone “more useful.” That “wandering eye” behaviour came up as a clear red flag.

You can feel, almost instantly, when someone is half-present. Even if they say the right things, you don’t feel seen. On the other hand, when someone gives you their full attention, looks at you, listens properly, and doesn’t rush to move on, the interaction feels completely different.

The advice that emerged was: it’s better to have two or three fully present conversations at an event than to “touch” ten people with shallow ones. Time and attention are what make an interaction feel meaningful, not the number of hands you shake.

Step 4: Be the person who contributes more than they have to

One of the strongest themes in the conversation was how memorable it is when people do things they aren’t obliged to do.

The people who answer questions in the group chat, share a resource without being asked, and introduce two people who might benefit from knowing each other - they generate recall. They become the names others remember when an opportunity or challenge comes up.

You don’t need a loud personality to stand out. Doing one helpful thing that you didn’t strictly “have” to do often speaks louder than any polished introduction.

Step 5: Offer value that is anchored in what they care about

A big insight from the session was how forgettable a generic “value” can be. People shared examples of conversations where someone jumped straight into advice mode without first understanding what mattered to them. It created distance as if the other person was more interested in demonstrating expertise than actually connecting.

What stood out instead were the moments where someone paused long enough to understand the person in front of them. The takeaway was clear: value resonates when it’s rooted in what the other person genuinely cares about. Once you understand their angle or passion, it becomes easy to offer something that feels thoughtful - a resource, a connection, a relevant idea, or even just remembering that detail in a future conversation.

Step 6: Network in a way that respects your temperament

The last reflection in the session was important: meaningful networking doesn’t require you to become someone you’re not. It does, however, require you to know how you recharge and plan around that. For some, that means shorter events with one or two intentional conversations. For others, it’s blocking “me time” after a busy session to decompress, or focusing on written follow-ups and online communities rather than constant in-person gatherings.

The point isn’t to copy someone else’s style. It’s to find a way to show up, contribute, and stay connected that’s sustainable for you.

If we replay this session, the people who stood out weren’t the ones with the most polished titles. They were the ones who showed up visibly, spoke clearly about what they do, gave others real attention, offered small but thoughtful value, and did it in a way that matched who they are.

That’s the art of meaningful networking: not just saying hello, but creating the kind of interaction that makes a second conversation feel natural.

If you are someone who finds traditional networking draining, you might also find practical ideas in our guide, 9 networking strategies for introverted freelancers: Building connections on YOUR terms.

If you want spaces where you can actually practice this - being visible, contributing, and building real relationships with other independents, join the Outsized Community and the next community meetup in the city near you. They’re designed for exactly this: taking you beyond the first hello.

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